Posts Tagged ‘vice’

reaching out

September 26, 2010

i dont know if i can go on with this. but does anyone really care? please let me know. i have a lot of things i need to sort out right now. i dont think i can can continue letting yall into my pittiful self destructive exploits. i need your input.

Advertisements

candy girl

April 9, 2010

ive been here at cool crest golf for a few days now. last time i wrote i had just arrived and was alone. things have changed since then, as they always seem to do. im now joined by a gorgeous 15 year old girl named jenny. Jenny ran away from home a few weeks back. i found her sleeping at the bus stop across from the mini golf course. she has dirty blonde hair, grey/green eyes, pouty pink lips, a pierced septum and eyebrow and she wears clothes that look 2 sizes too big for her.
i first saw her hanging around the bus stop the afternoon after i arrived at cool crest. she looked like a grunge chick or stoner girl, i didnt think she was homeless. not until night fell and she was still waiting at the bus stop did i put two and two together.
it wasnt easy to approach her. i swear this girl was like a frightened cat. her eyes even look like a cats… i jumped the fence to go talk to her. it was sometime around 2 in the morning and i mustve freaked her out cause she took off running. i jogged to catch up with her, but this didnt help things. she quickened her pace and was determined to flee from me. i called out to her but i didnt exactly know what to say, so i just kept yelling, “hey! wait up!” and “hold on!”
she keeps running, looking behind her shoulder every now and then. eventually my words get through. she sees that im not trying to harm her. she stops. i walk up slowly, out of breath. i keep my distance as i approach. she looks scared, but also like shes ready to attack. i hold up my hands to show her that i mean no harm. she reaches in to one of her baggy jean pockets and pulls out a small hunting knife. i continue my approach, my eyes focussed on hers. i try to talk as i struggle to regain my breath. havnt had to run in a while.
i explain to her that ive seen her on the street, but i didnt know she was homeless. i tell her that im living at the abandoned mini golf course across from where she was sleeping. she says nothing.
“My name is luke. whats yers?” i ask. “Jennifer.” she slowly whispers back. “Jennifer, do you want to come back with me? its a lot nicer in the mini golf course and i have some food and stuff your welcome to if you want.” i offer. she looks around hesitantly. “look im not going to hurt you, im on the streets too, i just want to help.” i finally say. she folds the knife up and puts it back inside her pocket. i can see her pink cotton panties peeking out from under her low hanging  jeans as i watch her return the knife. “cmon, i’ll buy you a drink.” i say. she smiles a crooked little smile and starts walking towards me, her head bowed to the ground.
She has very little trouble climbing the fence. i struggle my way over and hop/fall to meet her on the ground. not so graceful. she looks around quietly, i can tell shes pleased. she still seems kind of defensive though. i promise her that im not gunna try anything with her and tell her that she can relax. i just wanted to offer her a better place to stay, and theirs plenty of room for two in here. i can tell she must be starving, i offer her some jack in the box i had left over. she downs the eggrolls quickly and we split the jumbo jack between us.
the meal seemed to do her well. she lets her guard down some and i try to talk to her. she mostly answers my questions with one word answers. i try not to pry too much, seeing how coy she is. so i just ask her general stuff. how long you been out here? and where you from? mostly she just sits quietly, looking around the green garden that surrounds us.
she pulls her bag close to her and opens it up. inside  i see a multitude of colored candy as she peels back the zipper, gummy bears, air heads, sour patch, m&m’s, starburst…and pretty much every other kind of candy i can think of is seemingly contained within her bulky bag. she pulls out a few jolly ranchers and a big bag of skittles. “i took these from the corner store.” she said. “do you want some?” she extends an arm towards me with a handfull of skittles. i take them in my palm as i pull my bag close to me. i reach in and get out my bottle of old crow whiskey. half full. she eyes me as i take a swig and chase it with some skittles. she smiles and reaches her arm out, to grab the bottle from me. i hand it to her as i jokingly ask “how old are you?” she takes a big messy swig, then pops some skittles in her mouth. “15.” she says. i ponder this revelation for a while as i look the girl up and down. she looks over at me sheepishly as she hands me back the bottle. “gotta start sometime.”  i shrug my shoulders and take another swig.
we split the rest of the bottle and the skittles. not a bad mix actually. Jennifer starts opening up to me. she tells me that she ran away because her dad was abusing her. he was a pervert and had been touching her and her younger sister since she can remember. only recently did he start slapping her around though. so she split. she cried when she talked about her little sister she left behind. Meagan. she told me she was thinking about going back and killing her old man. the whole time i just sat there and listened to her as she opened up. i nodded my head and just let her get it all out.
she asks me about me. i tell her theirs not much to tell and just fill her in on the basics. i lost a lot recently, i dont want to go back to living the way i used to… im trying my hardest to survive and live my life the way i see fit… she changes the subject and asks me what ive been doing with this awesome place all to myself. i tell her that ive only been in here a day but that i used to come here as a kid. and except for walking around naked i pretty much have been doing the same thing were doing now. her eyes kind of light up . she looks around and gives me a big grin then struggles to her feet and starts to undress in the pale moon light.

.

stupid

March 2, 2010

well i guess you all see what has become of al this. a buncha goddamn bullshit. i cant keep up with anything. im too fucking jaded. its been so long since ive put anything in here.
things have been more or less the same. although many things are different. my girlfriend broke up with me. i got arrested and had to check into rehab for 8 weeks. i contracted a venereal disease (never trust a woman whos blouse matches her bra). i lost my apartment due to the rotting smell of dogflesh that began to overwhelm my unoccupied place.
i had no money for a while cuz my wallet was stolen and couldnt use my debit card and was stranded in a strange part of town for a while. actually i know that chick November took it off me before she gave me the clap. my cell phone was dead too and moreover i didnt feel like talking to anyone after what id been through.
i still dont remember much from that last night, but some things have come back to me. for one thing the urine i was covered in when i woke up in the gutter was Novembers. in fact that was voluntary, i was wasted and she said it was the only way for her to get off while she was on her rag. so i let her piss on me in the bath tub. shortly after she mustve had somebody drag me off in to the streets cause thats where i woke up.
it wasnt too long after when i got picked up by a squad car after attempting to take a bus. i stayed in the holding cell all night until i was transfered to county. i got off light at my hearing considering the amount of drugs in my system. 8 weeks in rehab. im out now, i have pretty much nothing left. like i said in previous posts, all my stuff had been stolen and pawned, my dog and girlfriend were both gone, my duplex apt taken away an account that i never took out the trash containing Spunky, and on top of it all it feels like burning knives when i take a piss.
how much longer can i go on i wonder?

strange strange coupla days

December 21, 2009

so i met this chick last week at the movies. me and my buddy went to go see the new lars von trier film and she was sitting in the row in front of us. she was cute. dark hair, red lips, kinda pale. curvy. just my type. my girlfriend has light hair and is tall and toned. almost the polar opposite of this chick. dont get me wrong tho, shes very sensual in her own way too. but if we’re being completely honest id rather have soft voluptuous curves over toned and tight any day. so needless to say i was gunna try to chat up this bird after the flick. unbelievably she was there sans escort. i kept checking out her and her reactions during the movie. the way she unflinchingly observed the genital mutilation scenes turned me on, she had ordered a basket of fries or something and she chomped lightly on them as the gore rolled on the screen.

i had to pee after the movie so i rushed to the wc. when i got out i had lost track of her. my friend said he thought he saw her go into the ladies room so i hovered around there pretending to be texting on my phone or something. a few minutes passed and i was beggining to think she wasnt in there. especially seeing as how several other ladies had come both in and out during the duration of my “texting.” the theater was closing around us, so we started heading for the exits.
apparently my friend was wrong. she was practically right in front of us in fact, sitting on a bench texting on her phone. she was slightly hidden behind on oversized cardboard display for the new tim burton movie. she was wearing a black skirt, her legs were crossed indian style on the bench and i could see a small patch of her white cotton panties as she looked down intently at her iphone. i thought she mustve seen me hanging around in front of the womens restroom peeking in and lurking about. i dont think she knew her underwear were showing. either that or she didnt care. her ample chest was heaving out towards me as well. full c’s i would say. maybe even d’s. she had a crucifix around around her neck, it dangled blasphemously between her huge perfectly shaped tits. i was getting hard again just approaching this girl. i had to struggle to keep myself from staring at her chest while we talked.
she told me she was waiting for a friend to pick her up but that she wasnt answering the phone. she seemed kind of upset. apparently her friend was supposed to meet her to see the movie. she didnt show and now she couldnt even get a hold of her. she took the bus to get to the theater but needed a ride back seeing as how the busses stop running after twelve. my friend took off to his place pretty much on cue. Leaving me alone with her outside in the movie theater parking lot. i offer her a ride in my car. after the obligatory speech about how im not a psycho and such. i even admitted that i was waiting for her outside the ladies room for like 10 minutes. she laughed and told me she was watching me from the bench and thought i mightve been doing something like that. she commented on the nick cave sticker on my car, then hopped in and we were on our way.
she lived waaaay on the other side of town. mustve been quite a few transfers by bus. the neighborhood she lived in was vaguely familiar though. we listened to trailer trash tracys on the way to her place. she said she had never heard of them but that she was really into old shoegazey stuff. she cited a band called alisons halo as one of her all time fav’s. so far so good i thought. she seemed like a really cool chick.

when we got to her place she offered to burn me a cd of alisons halo to thank me for the ride. i said, i’d like that, and we went in to her place. she immediately began picking up around the house, asking me to forgive the mess. it wasnt all that bad though. lots of clothes lying around, nothing unusual. she took off her shoes and motioned me to come up stairs with her. i got a pretty good look at her panties again as she rushed to the top of the starcase,, but i tried not to make it too obvious that i was looking. she got on itunes and started making me my cd. we shared a silent pause while she clicked away at the computer screen. the first semi akward moment. she pressed play on a track called “leech” and the silence broke.
she finished setting up the cd to burn, and spun around to face me, i didnt really know what to say next. the whole thing kinda happened fast. i really didnt have time to soak it all in. so i was left standing there with this gorgeous women sitting down in front of me. she looked deep into my eyes for the first time. i didnt know what else to do but calmly and cooly return her gaze. the left side of my mouth cracked into a half smile. she smiled back, displaying her straight white teeth. “what color are my panties?” she asks me out of nowhere. still smiling at me and looking into my eyes. “uhmm white ?” i tell her. she puts her lips back together then gives me a smirk.” want me to take them off” she says coily with a raised eyebrow then looks down at her lap. “ok” i say. she stays seated and slowly pulls down her white cotton undies.

i notice shes not completely shaved. but has just the perfect amount of pubic hair. she gets off the computer chair, bends down to pick up her panties and puts her hand on my cock. shes rubbing firmly on the outside of my jeans, her lips are parted. i can feel her warm breath on my own lips. i lunge in to kiss her, but she backs away. she starts grabbing my cock and lightly squeezing it. she lets me put my hands under her skirt. i move my hands lightly over her soft ass cheeks, feeling the tiny hairs raise against my fingertips. i start to sqeeze. she still doesnt let me kiss her. she takes her panties in her hand and presses them on my face. i breathe them in heavily. she seems really turned on by this. she starts pressing her body hard on mine. her breath is like fire on my neck. i open my mouth a little and she pushes her small, warm wadded up panties inside. immediately she grabs my hand from off her ass and moves it to her pussy. shes so wet. she guides my hand all over her lips then plunges my fingers in. she uses my hand to fuck herself. her panties are almost completely in my mouth, she starts moaning loud.her hand is pressed tight over my mouth. im thinking im gunna cum in my jeans any second now. she contiues working my hand in and out of her body. then i see that shes bleeding, and my entire hand is covered in dark red menstrual blood.

A few days go by. i cant stop playing the cd she gave me. I text her that my girlfriend is leaving town for the weekend and that i’ll have the house to myself. She texts me back to pick her up at midnight. i have some trouble finding her place again, and i dont end up in front of her house til 12:45. She seems a little put off when i pick her up. I go in to give her a peck on the cheek and she looks away in annoyance. “can we go please?” She snaps. I start to feel bad for showing up so late, but i honestly didnt think she would be even remotely this upset. i turn the volume up on my cd player. the cd she made kicks on as i navigate back to my place. She asks me if i could turn it down, she says she has a headache. I turn down the volume and we drive the rest of the way in silence.
She seems unimpressed with my house when we get there. She walks around it like shes been in it before a million times. She doesnt ask where anything is. She finds the bathroom on her own and locks the door behind her. I wait for about ten minutes before i knock on the door. “are you alright?” i ask. She doesnt answer. I can hear small sobs coming from the other side of the door. I ask again if shes ok, then wait a while for a response. She starts crying louder, and i can see from the crack under the door that shes lying on the floor. “open the door please.” I calmly say. “let me in, whats wrong sweetheart?” Her voice is shaky and shes stammering, while inadvertantly taking large gulps of air. “please help me! Please help me!” she manages to say.”ok, let me in baby. Cmon open the door so i can help you.” I reply. the lock turns over and i walk in slowly to see her lying in her underwear on the floor. Her face all wet with tears, her make up running with her nose.
“you gotta help me pleeeeease!” She manically cries. Im confused and unsure of what i should do. “whats wrong? tell me whats wrong baby.” I say. She struggles to catch her breath, to subside the sobbing for at least a few breaths. She appears to be getting a grip on her self. Looking around the room she wipes her eyes, her breathing still heavy and shaky. She crawls towards me as i crouch down to her level. she hudles close to me and i wrap my arms around her. Shes shaking and rocking back and forth. Her gaze fixes on my crotch, determinantly she reaches forward and quickly unbuckles my belt, unzips my zipper and crams my unsuspecting dick in her mouth. the sobbing continues, though muted to a certain degree. I can hear her breathing through her stuffy nostrils. Her face is still glistening with tears. She looks up at me with wet eyes as she jerks me off against her warm red tongue.

theres alot more but i’ll get into that later. i need to sleep.

Luke Havergal