Posts Tagged ‘’

reaching out

September 26, 2010

i dont know if i can go on with this. but does anyone really care? please let me know. i have a lot of things i need to sort out right now. i dont think i can can continue letting yall into my pittiful self destructive exploits. i need your input.


pastel sky

May 16, 2010

got my computer ripped off at the flop house a few weeks ago. havnt been back there since. havnt been able to post.

in other news, my dad got in contact with me with the help of one of my old friends, jey. he found me begging downtown on thursday and offered me a free bite to eat. it had been a while since id seen any family so i went out to lunch with him. we ate hoagies at a little place called the sandwich garden. i didnt say much, and i guess neither did he for that matter. i told him that i had a new girlfriend and that i had a place to stay. i told him my computer got stolen and that i was working on getting it back. my dad didnt really respond verbally, he just nodded and made small talk noises while he drove us away from downtown. my smell was so pungent we had to ride with the windows down. its been ages since ive changed clothes or showered. basically my dad wasnt offering any kind of real help or anything, he was just kind of checking up on me from what i gathered. i didnt exactly communicate the complexities of my decisions to him, but im pretty sure he understood that im doing what im doing for a reason. afterall he had his own reckless past he had to go through to get to where he is now.
i told him that the last time i saw any family was when i stayed at the marvel room at uncle bobs. he kinda sneered/scoffed at this. uncle bob is from my moms side. i could tell he’d rather me be on the streets than stay with his tweeker ass. uncle bob was kind of a fuck up.
it was still early after we finished eating at the sandwich garden, so my dad offered to take me to a movie like we used to do years ago. their was a small quarrel at the box office and they even brought out the manager and tried to have me thrown out of the theatre cause of my appearance, but my dad wouldnt have it and he threatened them with legal action. so we were let in after a lot of ass kissing (my dads a well respected member of the community) and we even got free concessions. before the movie started i went to the bathroom and told my dad to go ahead and save me a seat.
once in the bathroom, i emptied out my large drink container of all the dr pepper and proceeded to fill it with my urine. before walking into my theatre i chucked the ice cold cup of piss in an auditorium playing how to train dragons. i take it that thats a kids movie? haha. i rejoined my dad at our movie, greenberg with ben stiller. my dad picked it. i waited for someone to come in looking for me the whole movie but no one ever did. greenberg was kinda blah. their was a really awkward pussy eating scene, which dont get me wrong, im all for awkward pussy eating and all, but it was kinda strange watching it with my dad i hafta admit. after the movie ended i suggested we take the back exit and we left the theater without any hassles.
later my dad dropped me back off downtown and gave me a thousand bucks so i can buy a new laptop. i gave him a hug and told him i loved him. he took off and didnt say anything back. i met up with jenny and rodney shortly after and we were off to get me a new computer. more hassles at the apple store of course. but i flashed my cash and that shut them the hell up. so i guess im back for now. me jenny and rodney are at the mini golf course once again (dont know why i left in the first place). we STILL have a shit ton of popcorn and a few hits of acid we can sell. im laying off the shard for the time being as jenny may be pregnant? things have calmed down a lot since we left the flophouse. were pretty much just taking it easy, trying to keep cool and stay out of the sun is our main priority. Rodney has us all listening to this old indie band the pastels right now. me and him have become good buds the last couple of weeks. were about to crack a bottle of ancient age and watch the sunset.

hope yall have a pleasant evening as well,

Luke Havergal

candy girl

April 9, 2010

ive been here at cool crest golf for a few days now. last time i wrote i had just arrived and was alone. things have changed since then, as they always seem to do. im now joined by a gorgeous 15 year old girl named jenny. Jenny ran away from home a few weeks back. i found her sleeping at the bus stop across from the mini golf course. she has dirty blonde hair, grey/green eyes, pouty pink lips, a pierced septum and eyebrow and she wears clothes that look 2 sizes too big for her.
i first saw her hanging around the bus stop the afternoon after i arrived at cool crest. she looked like a grunge chick or stoner girl, i didnt think she was homeless. not until night fell and she was still waiting at the bus stop did i put two and two together.
it wasnt easy to approach her. i swear this girl was like a frightened cat. her eyes even look like a cats… i jumped the fence to go talk to her. it was sometime around 2 in the morning and i mustve freaked her out cause she took off running. i jogged to catch up with her, but this didnt help things. she quickened her pace and was determined to flee from me. i called out to her but i didnt exactly know what to say, so i just kept yelling, “hey! wait up!” and “hold on!”
she keeps running, looking behind her shoulder every now and then. eventually my words get through. she sees that im not trying to harm her. she stops. i walk up slowly, out of breath. i keep my distance as i approach. she looks scared, but also like shes ready to attack. i hold up my hands to show her that i mean no harm. she reaches in to one of her baggy jean pockets and pulls out a small hunting knife. i continue my approach, my eyes focussed on hers. i try to talk as i struggle to regain my breath. havnt had to run in a while.
i explain to her that ive seen her on the street, but i didnt know she was homeless. i tell her that im living at the abandoned mini golf course across from where she was sleeping. she says nothing.
“My name is luke. whats yers?” i ask. “Jennifer.” she slowly whispers back. “Jennifer, do you want to come back with me? its a lot nicer in the mini golf course and i have some food and stuff your welcome to if you want.” i offer. she looks around hesitantly. “look im not going to hurt you, im on the streets too, i just want to help.” i finally say. she folds the knife up and puts it back inside her pocket. i can see her pink cotton panties peeking out from under her low hanging  jeans as i watch her return the knife. “cmon, i’ll buy you a drink.” i say. she smiles a crooked little smile and starts walking towards me, her head bowed to the ground.
She has very little trouble climbing the fence. i struggle my way over and hop/fall to meet her on the ground. not so graceful. she looks around quietly, i can tell shes pleased. she still seems kind of defensive though. i promise her that im not gunna try anything with her and tell her that she can relax. i just wanted to offer her a better place to stay, and theirs plenty of room for two in here. i can tell she must be starving, i offer her some jack in the box i had left over. she downs the eggrolls quickly and we split the jumbo jack between us.
the meal seemed to do her well. she lets her guard down some and i try to talk to her. she mostly answers my questions with one word answers. i try not to pry too much, seeing how coy she is. so i just ask her general stuff. how long you been out here? and where you from? mostly she just sits quietly, looking around the green garden that surrounds us.
she pulls her bag close to her and opens it up. inside  i see a multitude of colored candy as she peels back the zipper, gummy bears, air heads, sour patch, m&m’s, starburst…and pretty much every other kind of candy i can think of is seemingly contained within her bulky bag. she pulls out a few jolly ranchers and a big bag of skittles. “i took these from the corner store.” she said. “do you want some?” she extends an arm towards me with a handfull of skittles. i take them in my palm as i pull my bag close to me. i reach in and get out my bottle of old crow whiskey. half full. she eyes me as i take a swig and chase it with some skittles. she smiles and reaches her arm out, to grab the bottle from me. i hand it to her as i jokingly ask “how old are you?” she takes a big messy swig, then pops some skittles in her mouth. “15.” she says. i ponder this revelation for a while as i look the girl up and down. she looks over at me sheepishly as she hands me back the bottle. “gotta start sometime.”  i shrug my shoulders and take another swig.
we split the rest of the bottle and the skittles. not a bad mix actually. Jennifer starts opening up to me. she tells me that she ran away because her dad was abusing her. he was a pervert and had been touching her and her younger sister since she can remember. only recently did he start slapping her around though. so she split. she cried when she talked about her little sister she left behind. Meagan. she told me she was thinking about going back and killing her old man. the whole time i just sat there and listened to her as she opened up. i nodded my head and just let her get it all out.
she asks me about me. i tell her theirs not much to tell and just fill her in on the basics. i lost a lot recently, i dont want to go back to living the way i used to… im trying my hardest to survive and live my life the way i see fit… she changes the subject and asks me what ive been doing with this awesome place all to myself. i tell her that ive only been in here a day but that i used to come here as a kid. and except for walking around naked i pretty much have been doing the same thing were doing now. her eyes kind of light up . she looks around and gives me a big grin then struggles to her feet and starts to undress in the pale moon light.