Posts Tagged ‘coping with loss’

stupid

March 2, 2010

well i guess you all see what has become of al this. a buncha goddamn bullshit. i cant keep up with anything. im too fucking jaded. its been so long since ive put anything in here.
things have been more or less the same. although many things are different. my girlfriend broke up with me. i got arrested and had to check into rehab for 8 weeks. i contracted a venereal disease (never trust a woman whos blouse matches her bra). i lost my apartment due to the rotting smell of dogflesh that began to overwhelm my unoccupied place.
i had no money for a while cuz my wallet was stolen and couldnt use my debit card and was stranded in a strange part of town for a while. actually i know that chick November took it off me before she gave me the clap. my cell phone was dead too and moreover i didnt feel like talking to anyone after what id been through.
i still dont remember much from that last night, but some things have come back to me. for one thing the urine i was covered in when i woke up in the gutter was Novembers. in fact that was voluntary, i was wasted and she said it was the only way for her to get off while she was on her rag. so i let her piss on me in the bath tub. shortly after she mustve had somebody drag me off in to the streets cause thats where i woke up.
it wasnt too long after when i got picked up by a squad car after attempting to take a bus. i stayed in the holding cell all night until i was transfered to county. i got off light at my hearing considering the amount of drugs in my system. 8 weeks in rehab. im out now, i have pretty much nothing left. like i said in previous posts, all my stuff had been stolen and pawned, my dog and girlfriend were both gone, my duplex apt taken away an account that i never took out the trash containing Spunky, and on top of it all it feels like burning knives when i take a piss.
how much longer can i go on i wonder?

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