Posts Tagged ‘cold cave’

stupid

March 2, 2010

well i guess you all see what has become of al this. a buncha goddamn bullshit. i cant keep up with anything. im too fucking jaded. its been so long since ive put anything in here.
things have been more or less the same. although many things are different. my girlfriend broke up with me. i got arrested and had to check into rehab for 8 weeks. i contracted a venereal disease (never trust a woman whos blouse matches her bra). i lost my apartment due to the rotting smell of dogflesh that began to overwhelm my unoccupied place.
i had no money for a while cuz my wallet was stolen and couldnt use my debit card and was stranded in a strange part of town for a while. actually i know that chick November took it off me before she gave me the clap. my cell phone was dead too and moreover i didnt feel like talking to anyone after what id been through.
i still dont remember much from that last night, but some things have come back to me. for one thing the urine i was covered in when i woke up in the gutter was Novembers. in fact that was voluntary, i was wasted and she said it was the only way for her to get off while she was on her rag. so i let her piss on me in the bath tub. shortly after she mustve had somebody drag me off in to the streets cause thats where i woke up.
it wasnt too long after when i got picked up by a squad car after attempting to take a bus. i stayed in the holding cell all night until i was transfered to county. i got off light at my hearing considering the amount of drugs in my system. 8 weeks in rehab. im out now, i have pretty much nothing left. like i said in previous posts, all my stuff had been stolen and pawned, my dog and girlfriend were both gone, my duplex apt taken away an account that i never took out the trash containing Spunky, and on top of it all it feels like burning knives when i take a piss.
how much longer can i go on i wonder?

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rest in piss

January 13, 2010

Solice is dead… good riddance too. guess where he OD’d? On the bathroom floor! the same spot where linda had her little breakdown a few weeks previous. Apparently i should have read the signs. The bloody omen right in front of me. But i guess whats done is done. god my life is so fucked up. why do i allow myself to fall in with these crazy fucking people?

Im glad that fuckhole died choking on his own vomit. It only seems fitting for such a human waste. not only did the bastard end up stealing thousands, literally thousands of dollars from me and my girlfriend (he pawned our flat screen, dvd library, laptop, ALL my vintage synthesizers, my dj equipment, and guitar and amp etc. etc…) he also tried to rape my girlfriend and succeeded in killing our yorkshire terrier Spunky. fuck him, like i said im glad he’s dead and i hope he’s in hell where he belongs.

Of course he played me like a fool. Probably from the get go too. Though in retrospect it was pretty stupid to invite him in my home in the first place. I mean i knew he was capable of some fucked up shit in the past (i guess i used to be too), but i had no idea how crazy he had gotten. And worst of all it wasnt even all for drugs. i could be sympathetic to a junky maybe. Stealing for a fix. Fucking over his friends for drug money and such. that wasnt the half of it though. This guy simply didnt give a fuck. Not about anyone, least of all me, my girlfriend and my dog spunky.

The fucking deadshit broke in while he knew me and my chick were out at my moms bar b q. i didnt even suspect that it was him that stole our shit, though i did question him to be sure at the time. He was so sincere. He made me believe that he was victimized as well, claiming that he had his bag stolen. He convinced us it was another acquaintance whom i’d mentioned in the last post, Mooch, that had ripped us off. he told me that mooch had mentioned something about me having a lot of nice stuff when he came by to drop off some blow. like a dumbasswhole i fell for it too. In fact he was probably setting me up to get shot or something, the cocksucker. he kept trying to convince me to go “ride on that mother fucker!” he told me he would go with me saying that “he’s not gunna fuck with my brother and get away with it.”

What the fuck ever.

January 7, 2009, The day of his death, i was crashed out after being up for days. i woke up to screams but i couldnt get up. It was like it was happening in a dream. I couldn’t move, and at this time didnt even feel concern. my girlfriend kept yelling for help, screaming “STOP!!! STOP!!!!” and calling my name. The dog was yapping and growling the whole time as well. but i just lied there motionless in my drug coma. This went on for what seems like hours. First the screaming and yelling and barking, then crying.

i later learned that Solice and my girlfriend were doing lines in the bathroom that morning when i had crashed out. She said everything was fine at that point, they were just talking and that he wasnt acting weird or anything. Not until he he took out a bottle of lean syrup and 151 did he start to get shady.  for one thing she noticed he had it stashed in his bag under the sink. The same bag he said was stolen. She calmly called him out on it and he just kind of shrugged it off and told her that “i guess mooch missed it after all.” She was weary of him after that though and said that he seemed kind of upset that she questioned him about the bag. she continued to do lines with him though. she said he kept offering her syrup, but she declined, telling him that she didnt like to mix uppers and downers. GOOD ADVICE. She started feeling uncomfortable after solice started getting drunk off the 151 which he was “downing like gatorade.”

He started telling her how hot she was and tried to grab at her tits, it was at this point she started to get freaked so she went into the kitchen to get away from him, but he followed her and cornered her against the wall. thats when she started screaming for help. she tried to struggle away, to fight back but he over powered her. All she could do was scream. Spunky started barking at him, but was too small to be of any help. She thrashed at him with her nails and scratched him up pretty good, but he threw her against the wall nearly knocking her unconscious. She told me how he started throwing punches at her while she was on the floor. giving her two black eyes and four bruised ribs. He started trying to pull her clothes off. The dog started attacking him when he got down on top of her, so he picked it up and twisted its neck backwards.

Thats when the screams got their loudest. My girlfriend went hysterical. Solice started laughing at her. he rubbed the dead dog in her face then slammed it in the trash can. She lied there sobbing on the kitchen floor. then he stood up, reached in his pants and started to jack himself off over her. She shut her eyes and when she opened them he had gone into the bathroom. all the while still laughing maniacally to himself. She mustve been in shock after that cause she passed out. Solice would never make it out of the bathroom alive.

I found him in a pool of purple vomit later that evening, A needle in his arm and a tortured expression on his scratched up bloody face.

rest in piss, you fuck.

Luke Havergal